Feeling Alive
by KiahTrickster
Summary: Set after episode Careless, one shot. Fin keeps saying he is cool but Melinda knows better, he needs someone to talk to or someone to remind him that some things in life are very good. Felinda Smut.


Disclaimer: All characters, ect belong to Dick Wolf, I own nothing and this is only for fun.

One shot. Set after Careless.

Feeling Alive

It had been a hard case and Melinda was worried about her boyfriend, he could put on a hard shell for everyone else but she saw through it. Any time an officer had to use lethal force it was considered traumatic but it was underestimated how traumatic it was to simply witness death; accidental, suicide or even natural. Death was traumatic to the living, she knew that and worked around it but did not become desensitized to it; and knew eventually Finn would talk.

She cleaned down the office and went home to change before going to his usual haunt; she could always run into a full house of cops down at the pub. Food and beer, cops loved it and it had been their first date; it would always be special to her. Wading through the guys who had come off shift and the local patrons to find Finn in his corner, a little surprised that his old friend from the army wasn't there.

She smiled at her memory of coming here for a Friday night and sitting at the bar, but Finn had looked a lot happier then and as she squeezed onto the stool beside him and waved the bartender away she knew he was hurting. "You aren't okay."

It was not a question, she knew and she wanted him to tell her, to understand that she knew it; she had known it since she chose her career. But as he glanced over she saw he was here looking for something, or someone. "I just needed to feel alive, Mel it's not…"

"I know. Logan isn't here." They had come through their service together and seen horrific things but she knew they grounded each other, that unit had been close and now it was spread across the country; Logan and Finn just happened to land in the same city.

"No, but he's a creature of habit the old bastard. He'll be here." Fin smiled a little, glancing down at his untouched drink. "I appreciate your concern Mel, I really do but this, this isn't new to me it is just something that I have to put to the back of my mind; and remembering worse times helps somehow."

She winced, not what she hoped he would say but she understood, and as his hand slid to her thigh she knew she had to leave it be. Sometimes things in the past could push other things into the past; to face a new day. "Will you call me when you get home?"

"I'm not here to drink Mel. And I'm not trying to push you out." He wrapped an arm around her as she slid off the stool; kissing her cheek. "I will call you later."

She smiled, he was good to her but she was allowed to worry over him and as she looked into his eyes she made an offer he was trying to delay. "If you want to feel alive, there is another option."

Pressing herself against his side she leaned over to kiss him back and then slipped away, ignoring the protest she didn't hear the end of. She was allowed to worry about him, they had been dating for nearly four months and much to her protest he insisted on waiting.

While it was sweet and incredibly empowering to have a man put her first, to want to wait for her; she was horny. Her divorce had been miserable with her ex trying to pull her and their daughter through the dirt; fifteen years thrown away. Finn wanting to make her feel special, prove to her that she was important had been sweet; he wanted to wait for their six month anniversary.

When he first explained it to her it had sent thrills through her but more and more she just wanted him, she knew him, knew him better than he let most; and he knew things about her she didn't share with anyone else. And she saw that often he felt the same, his body responded to hers and he denied it; because he was a man of his word. She didn't want to tempt him into breaking it but she also wanted to hold him, and feel him close to her; it was long past the point of him being anything but a good man.

At home she stripped off the fitted black shirt and frowned at the lingerie she wore beneath, she made a point of it when they went out; just in case. She wanted to look good for him, and had bought it for him but he had yet to see any of it. Changing for bed she curled up with a book, fully intending to enjoy her night; she didn't have to work in the morning.

It was much later that a banging on her door woke her up, she had drifted off reading she realized and a little dazed headed for the door. Peeking through the peephole she was surprised to see Fin and a little excited. She opened the door. "Hey."

"Hey babe, can I come in?" He stepped in and she was pleased to see he didn't look a bit drunk or smell of alcohol. She doubted that he had more than that one drink, and nodded as he shut and locked the door.

Leading the way back to the couch she fretted a little about being in oversized shorts and a tank; she wished she'd left her clothes on. "He show up?"

"Yeah he did, and we talked old times but you made me the best offer I got. I just want to be sure…" He trailed off, and she squirmed in excitement.

"I'm more than sure Fin." Melinda eased closer, fiddling with her shorts wondering if he would be upset if she went to change; knowing what he would say. "One minute."

"Melinda, if you aren't ready at all just…"

"Stop it, I dressed for bed and I want to put something on, it will only take a minute." Trying to pull away as he got up, reaching for her.

"You look perfect, you don't need anything." His lips met hers softly, his arms wrapping around her and making it hard for her to focus on her protest. She eased into his kiss, her body sending sparks straight through her; but then she pulled back.

"I don't need anything Fin; I want something." She stared into his eyes for a long moment before his hands fell away and let her go.

Slipping quickly back to her room she slipped on her favourite set, she loved how the color looked against her skin and what it did for her curves and then just to tease him pulled her tank top and shorts back on. She found in where she left him, and walked easily into his arms. "Barely took a minute."

His hand slid through her hair and then slowly down her shoulder and to her spine, low, until he pressed her lower back and smoothed her entire body against his. "You know I love you Melinda."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, that needed no response as their lips met softly, his tongue asking entrance to her mouth. Their kisses deepened as did his grip, she felt her entire body catching fire as he pressed her against his solid chest and the bulge that poked her belly. "I want you."

Her voice was a whisper against his cheek but she knew he heard as he slid a hand under her ass, lifting her up. "Your bed."

He managed to twist her in his arms and ended up carrying her down the hall bridal style as she nuzzled his neck, reaching out to push open the door for him. He carried her to the bed and sat down, holding her in his lap, his mouth attaching to her pulse.

Melinda shivered as he worked his way down her neck, his hands keeping her against him; as if she was going to move away. She used it as a chance to run her hands over his chest and back, sliding low to his waist to tease; until he countered with a move of his own.

"Like that babe?" He asked as he his hand firmly cupped her breast, the other still splayed across her hip.

She made a soft sound as he squeezed a little before beginning to remove the tank top. She lifted her arms to help him, but then leaned close, not letting him look as she caught the hem of his shirt; she wanted to see him. She eased back as she pulled it off and heard him inhale; his hands caught her rib cage.

Melinda smiled as he glanced down, she saw he liked this set and it was well worth taking that moment to put it on. Their lips met softly as he nudged her to her feet, his hands working to remove her shorts; she tried to stay close to him.

Finally he pulled back and she stood proud, enjoying his blatant appreciation. "Like what you see?"

"Very much but those aren't staying on long Mel." His hands ghosted over her sides, up cupping her breasts and then he pulled her back onto the bed.

She lay on her back beneath him in possibly the sexiest lingerie he had ever seen, the soft purple against her milk chocolate skin was stunning and the excitement in her eyes only made him ache. He had wanted her more or less since he met her but when he heard about her divorce he wanted far more than that; he wanted to be the friend she could trust. Slowly that had turned into more until he felt safe to ask her to date him.

It was hard with their jobs, work to often ruined any mood he could have created and he knew she saw to many jerks, she was a beautiful woman and he had been out at the bar with the entire unit when he heard a proposition that made him want to slug a stranger.

Five months later he was in her bed, and he wasn't sure he had wanted anything more; but he knew he had the best woman he was going to get. She saw through him even when he didn't want her to and made him a better man because as much as she turned him on she had lived a life he respected.

She was squirming and he knew that in making himself wait he had also made her wait; but as he ran his hands over smooth soft flesh he was sure it was worth it. The thrill he felt in seeing her, in holding her, the wait only made it better. But he wanted to see a lot more than he did and flipped the clasp on her bra; pulling it away.

He pinched one nipple softly and eased his mouth to the other, she gasped and he felt her arch into him as he sucked; she was so responsive. He suckled her and teased, using his weight to keep her still as she squirmed and moaned; her legs wrapped around his waist.

As he pulled back, to offer the other dusky nipple the same attention he realized just how close he was to her core; it was enough to make him arch his hips a little. "Finn, don't do that, please, unless you are ready to take those off."

He smirked and just for fun did it again, but only a little bit; her entire body shuddered and he realized just how close she was. Imagining how wet she would be he sucked a little harder on her nipple before letting it go with a pop.

Extracting himself from her legs he stepped to the end of the bed and stripped away he jeans; she moaned in protest but he moved quickly back to her. Hooking his fingers in the lacy boy shorts and tugging them down he tossed them away and eased up to begin kissing down her belly; her hands urging him faster.

Finn wasn't going to have it as he smoothed a hand down her thigh, loving how eagerly her legs had fallen open to him, she was completely beautiful and he let his mouth follow the path of his hand. She groaned and her hips bucked up, it took all his restraint not to do exactly as she wanted. But the taste of her was something he wanted to much; he would make himself wait just a little longer.

Sliding a finger through her folds he groaned at the moisture there, teasing her entrance just a little; needing to use one hand to keep her semi still. Finally he slid a finger into her and let out a long groan, he knew she would feel good, but nothing could have prepared him for how tight she was; or the sound she made.

It was almost a yelp as he slid his finger in and out lowering his mouth to suck on her, he added another and was rewarded with his name from her lips in a soft breathy voice. "You are gonna feel so good Melinda."

"Please." She whimpered, her hips struggling to get what she wanted; he wouldn't deny her. Plunging his finger into her lapped at her clit, trying to give her that final push; it took only one more thrust. Her body jerked and he pulled his fingers away as he lapped up the moisture coming from her. "Unh Finn."

He licked his lips and pulled back, nearly groaning himself as he lost all contact with her skin, shoving down his boxers he kicked free of them and reached for his jeans; fumbling for the condom in the pocket. Finn had just got it on and was ready to climb back onto her, his control wavering in his excitement at having her.

She reached for him and he saw something flash through her eyes; it made him pause. He did not want to see disappointment now, not even a tiny bit as she touched him; her touch felt incredible. "Will you take it off?"

He hesitated, never in a million years had he thought he would hear that from her, and yet he wanted to rip it off almost too much. " Mel, I…"

"It's taken care of, and I trust you." Her fingers were already beginning to slide it off; but it felt too good and he was not going to let go until he felt her.

Brushing her fingers away he slid it off and threw it in the trash pushing her back to the bed and leaning in to kiss her. Plundering his mouth as he slid between her thighs, her hands trying to help, ready to take him. Leaning down he teased each nipple just a little bit and then looked down, she had their bodies lined up; he slid very slowly forward.

She gasped and he let his face fall into her neck as he slowly filled her; she was incredible. Her passage tight and hot, it felt as if he was stretching each ring of muscle he passed through; he rested with his hips pressed hard against hers.

Melinda was making the softest mewling sounds as he started to move, he felt her hands rubbing over his back and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He didn't want this to end, he wanted it to last as he moved within her, feeling the moisture ease his thrusts; tease his control.

He set the pace by how her body jerked up to meet him, pounding into her and taking in every sound she made. He felt her tighten around him and then the flood of her release, he nearly exploded but sliding out he rolled her over, pressing her front into the bed and sliding into her from behind; she pushed herself up from the bed.

Sliding a hand around to her breast he pinned her to the bed under his body; marking the back of her neck as he continued to take her. He wasn't sure she could stop now if he wanted to especially as she cried out underneath him, begging for more; he had her right on the breaking point.

"Melinda." He hissed, he wanted her over it, to feel her body go slack beneath him, completely sated and satisfied; he drilled into her with his own need. His body nearly a part of her as he held her still, his own release filling her belly; nearly as satisfying as the sound she made. He slid from her in a rush of fluid from both of them, taking a firm hold on his softening cock to slide it back into her; to be within her only a moment longer. Then he knew he had to take care of her.

"Finn." She whimpered, her body was weak and nearly foreign in her state of bliss, she couldn't move but the idea of him getting off her made her want to cry.

Their bodies had merged, he had pounded into her, filling her to the point she was surprised she didn't split but as he lifted himself off her she wanted his weight again; to feel him inside of her again. She didn't want it to be over. "Please don't go."

Pushing her body up she tried to clear her head, never had she cum more than once with a man but he had milked three from her and the usual pop of tension she felt had nothing on the heaviness and complete satisfaction that ran through her limbs now. His hand grabbed her hip and turned her over, she looked up into warm brown eyes. "Lay down baby, I'll be right there in a moment."

His hand slid over her hip and before she could make a sound he slid her thighs apart and a warm cloth pressed against her, cleaning her gently. He dried her gently and then she watched him pad back to the bathroom and leave the cloths and turn out the light. He was so gentle with her, he made her feel special and wanted.

She rolled over so he could spoon into her back as he came to the bed but he just pulled her over onto her back and settled against her side. She smiled as some of his weight pressed against her, wrapping her arms around him; wanting him close. "It was worth the wait."

"More than worth it, but Melinda I'm not going four months without touching you again." His arm snaked around her and she grinned.

"I'm glad. I love you." She curled into his shoulder to sleep, content with the idea of a lot more nights like this one in the future.

"I love you too." Feeling his hand trace her cheek she kept her eyes closed but smiled; she loved knowing he meant what he said. "You make me feel alive."


End file.
